ON INTERPRETING THE POEM



W: "Just read your new poem kay – loved it, though I would have titled it "c*nt”. LOL!!!"


Me:  "LOL!! honestly, honey... I think I have an old one named 'c*nt'. LOL!!!"


W:  "Who doesn't?"


Me:  "ROFLMAO!!! ... (Emily Dickinson?)"


W:  "Wild nights! Wild nights!

Were I with thee,

Wild nights should be

Our luxury!

Futile the winds

To a heart in port,

Done with the compass,

Done with the c*nt.


I rest my case."


(Can't argue with a man this adorable.)



ON THE PATENT ABSURDITY OF FELLOW HUMANS



"They are big Health-food nuts, comparing notes on that store "whole foods," discussing the virtues of cardamom, chia seeds, seaweed and flax. Both are big diabetics. Rather that waste their money on such idiocy, they'd be better served to take off a few pounds. They eat raw carrots and radishes and follow it up with several slices of pizza and Coke."


(Wayne...... the diet doctor.)



ON CAREFUL STUDY OF THE HUMAN FACE



W:  " Hey Kay, do you think comedian Richard Lewis is handsome? Wouldn't he be perfect to play Richard Katz from 'Freedom?'"


Me:  "LOL!!! NOOOOOOOOO. To both points."


W:  "Well, I never thought Mohamar Kadafqui was handsome either, but Katz looks like him."


Me:  "LOL!!! In my mind, if they make a movie of that, there's only one choice for Katz. Jeff Brolin."


W:  "LOL - (at first I read "Jeff Goldbloom." ) I think Jeff Brolin looks stupid. I don't picture Katz as looking stupid."


Me:  "LOL! There I go with names again... JOSH.... Josh Brolin. He looks sardonic, filled with ennui, capable of anything. And VERY appealing to women."


W:  "I think Jeff Brolin looks like a stupid thug. Usually has his mouth hanging open. Probably sh*ts himself on a regular basis."


(There you have it. Stupidity leads to shitting one's self.)



ON LINGUISTICS



" I just picked up a falafel pita for lunch. The Spanish language sounds like a man urinating into a toilet."


(I believe he'd give Henry Higgins a run for his money.)